Today I received a phone call. I suspect that many of you received a similar call, as I like to assume that most of you have pre-ordered Bioshock, because you know quality when you see it. And like me, you probably noticed you were receiving a call from an unknown number and answered hoping that it was 1up offering you your dream job.
Alas, as you now know it was the video game harlot, otherwise known as GameStop. And that lovely voice you were expecting to hear on the line when you answered with a polite, “hello, sir or mam, how are you on this fine day?” came back with a roboticized pre-recorded voice of someone who was stalking you. Yes this pre-made voice automaton of GameStop’s had insider knowledge that you had pre-ordered Bioshock and just wanted to drop you a little insider’s clue that the Special Edition of the game was going to be available exclusively through EB and GameStop.
This dear reader is where your story and mine will differ. Unlike you, who was probably delighted to be alerted to such news, I raged like the Hulk. Only when I tried to tear my shirt I just spilt my coffee on my shirt and pants and then felt like I pissed myself for hours.
Why is it that GameStop gets exclusivity on something like the special edition of Bioshock? That is almost enough to make me not purchase it (though the collector whore inside me will likely cave). Furthermore I ask you am I the only one who is pissed that GameStop calls me on my phone even though I never gave them permission to? I can’t even speak to a human so I can tell them to take me off their calling list for God’s sake. I will probably have to go to my local EB and deal with Captain Douchetastic in order to get some sort of freedom from robotic audio terrorism.
In sum: Bioshock special edition=GameStop exclusive. Chuf really wants to kill automatons.
Chufmoney