Archive for the ‘whoredom’ Category

Nintendo: We’re not making near as much money as we could be!

Friday, December 14th, 2007

I think Jay-Z said it best. Mo’ Money. Mo’ Problems. Didn’t Jay-Z say that? I don’t keep up with you kids. From Nextgen:

Nintendo sold 981,000 Wii units in the US during November according to the NPD Group, but according to James Lin, senior analyst at the MDB Capital Group in Santa Monica, Calif., “they could easily sell double what they’re selling.” Along with other industry analysts and retailers, Lin believes Nintendo could be set to lose out on more than $1billion this holiday, not including missed revenue opportunities from associated software sales that won’t materialize.

Man. That sucks for Nintendo. They could be taking over the world, but because they can’t make enough systems (wink, wink) they won’t make nearly as much money as they could be. So sad! Hang on. Where’s my tissue? For all you people looking for a Wii, head to Bestbuy and grab the one I won’t be buying. Its waiting on you.

[via NextGen]

Jayslacks.

New 360 Controllers! Now With More Whoredom!

Tuesday, June 12th, 2007

Coming soon to a GameStop near you, the new Halo 3 360 accessories!  Now you can be the nerdiest kid at any Halo 3 tournament you go to!  Show those other guys how their controllers that do the exact same thing and cost less just don’t match that of your uber Covenant joy pad of doom.  And, for those of you who are true Halo 3 fans, may we present to you the Spartan Colored Wireless 360 headset!  Now you, flabby gut and non-genetically enhanced body in all, can pretend to be just like your hero, John!

For pics of more expensive Halo 3 360 accessories click here. 

Seriously?  Who the fuck wants to spend more money than what a regular 360 controller costs.  I mean if they were the same price and you still needed controllers or a headset I could understand that you go out and get one themed around a particular game.  But this my friends, this must not be done.  Please don’t whore yourself out like that.  Your momma raised you better!

Chufmoney

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